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May 3, 2012—Marta Says Goodbye!

It's with sad hearts that we say goodbye to our Dear Leader, Marta. Here is a special farewell message she has prepared for her dearest friends in the SMC community:

Goodbye.mp3

June 12, 2011

Here are usmLite, we're deeply concerned about all the families affected by the recent outage at usmLite.com as we transitioned to a new hosting company. Your call is very important to us. Please remain on hold, and the next available representative will answer your call in the order it was received. usmLite may not be right for everyone. Talk to your doctor if have suicidal thoughts or actions, as these may be symptoms of a more serious condition.

Oh wait... I'm getting a text message from someone named Anthony Weiner.

April 13, 2011—Parking Heaven?

Parking Heaven courtesy of Parking Angel, especially Saint von Saunderheizen

[Thoughtful images from ck88. Thanks!]

April 9, 2011

Creative.  Bold.  Determined.  Gordon.

[Interpretive images by ck88. Thanks!]

March 28, 2011—President Marta's Blog

We are currently soliciting resumes for our files for the position of Lady Eagle Basketball Coach and Latin Philosopher. While there is NOTHING WRONG with the performance of Coach Hyphen-ated (and don't you dare misquote me on this, Eagles!), we feel that it's best to have contingency plans for our most valuable core programs. It's only good sense to know who we could turn to in an emergency. [Click to read more...]

March 22, 2011

We no longer serve 20% of the Internet. So long, APNIC!

The Server Gnomes

March 17, 2011—To Qadafi and Charlie Sheen

In this fireside chat, President von Saunderheizen offers praise and advice to her two favourite world leaders.

To Qadafi and Charlie Sheen [.mp3, 1.4 MB]

March 16, 2011—Raising Morale

FROM THE OFFICE OF APOLOGETICS...

Quoth Lizzy TThe Council for Raising Awareness of the President has recommended that we raise awareness of the artistic outlets available to all students, and to the general public." Click here to read more about the raising of your awareness.

[With great contributions from Lizzy T.]

March 15, 2011

Dear Readers,

I've been positively inundated with emails about how much people miss me. I feel like it would be politically expedient for me to explain myself. But then I remember that my aversion to tough questions is due to my low threshold for pain. I've recorded a song about it. This time I was able to use much better recording equipment! I hope you enjoy!!

Low Threshold for Pain [.mp3, 2.5 MB]

Marta von Saunderheizen
Awesomely Wonderful, even outside of foobaw season.
(and don't you forget!)

February 25, 2011—Alive & Stealin' [.mp3, 3.0 MB]

January 1, 2011—New Year's Resolutions [.mp3, 2.3 MB]

December 28, 2010—High Flyers [RazorView]

December 6, 2010—Marta's Book Club: Bad Bosses

December 6, 2010—Presidential Honor Squad! [RazorView]

December 5, 2010—Golden Fried Eagles at the O'Sausage Bowl

Southern Miss Vocational has accepted the challenge at the O'Sausage Bowl. The O'Sausage Bowl is a very moderately prestigious football game where the spoils go to the victor, which will probably be the other team, whoever they are. Most bets are off... [read more]

 

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